Flawed & Worthy

Do you ever have so many ideas for things you’d like to do? Places you want to see, dinners you want to cook, crafts to make? I want to do all the things. I want to travel. I want to host parties. I want to read books. (I have a whole bookshelf of beautiful books, that I aspire to read… one day.) I could go on and on. I want to do all the things. Especially with my kids & I want to be the best wife and homemaker.

But the reality of it is, I’m tired. I don’t have time, energy & just can’t put forth the effort because I’m mentally, emotionally & physically drained.

Once I leave the house, that’s it, I’m out for the entire day. I’ll be back after work, practice & sun down. More than likely, dinner is from the drive through. Once we walk through the door, showers are needed & the laundry gets added to the pile. I kiss my kids goodnight & by that time I’m beat. There’s no energy left to even think of the extra things I’d love to add to my plate. I do some mindless scrolling and then say my prayers. I close my eyes for a few hours & back at it the next morning.

It gets to me sometimes, always being on the go. Always having something to do. Rest? What’s that? (God’s still teaching me that one.)

I’m gonna let you in on a secret. If I change my perspective from seeing my full day as something that I have to do, to looking at my day as an itinerary of things that I get to do for my family, it helps so much!

I’m so very grateful for my job and my family. I’m thankful that my husband supports me and that my kids are happy, healthy and thriving. I get to spend time with them throughout their activities & fully support them whether it’s in the car on the way to school or on the sidelines fully submerged into their game.

I’m in a season of busy. I accept that. I’m trying to embrace this season because I know it’s fleeting. My freshman will soon be a senior & my 10 year old will be 18 in a blink. I don’t want to miss it. Not a single second.

So, the party’s, dinners, crafts, and books will have to wait. Travel will get thrown into the mix when we can add it & the laundry will eventually get washed. Everything else will come or maybe it won’t. Not in this season anyway. I saw a post years back that said “The days are long, but the years are short.” I feel that so deeply.